And another thing, how does Adenosine Triphosphate reduce to ATP? Where's the P? Peter Lovatt, lecturer in psychology of dance, University of Hertfordshire I had no clue what she was talking about every time she mentioned 80p. For example, the first time I heard about Adenosine Triphosphate it was abbreviated by the lecturer to ATP, which I heard as 80p.
#FUNNY WALKED INTO A BAR JOKES FULL#
I'd just come to terms with my own severe reading difficulties and neurophysiology was full of acronyms, which I always got mixed up. I first read this joke when I was an undergraduate as a mature student in 1990. ■ What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexia Association. And it is pretty geeky … Helen Czerski, Institute of Sound and Vibration Research, Southampton BiologyĪ blowfly: not to be laughed at. I've always loved comic poetry and I like the pun in it. I knew this limerick when I was at school. ■ A friend who's in liquor production, Has a still of astounding construction, The alcohol boils, Through old magnet coils, He says that it's proof by induction. Lloyd Peck, professor, British Antarctic Survey ■ Why did Erwin Schrödinger, Paul Dirac and Wolfgang Pauli work in very small garages? Because they were quantum mechanics. Callum Roberts, professor in marine conservation, University of York ■ What is a physicist's favourite food? Fission chips. Ewan Birney, associate director, European Bioinformatics Institute
This is really the joke form of "all models are wrong, some models are useful" and also sums up the sort of physics confidence that they can solve problems (ie, by making the model solvable). The head physicist reported, "We have made several simplifying assumptions: first, let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere… " The investors listened eagerly to this proposal. Finally, the physicists reported that they could also predict the outcome of any race, and that their process was cheap and simple. They said that they could predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of $100m per race, and they would only be right 10% of the time. The biologists said that they could genetically engineer an unbeatable racehorse, but it would take 200 years and $100bn. After one year, the groups all reported to the investors. Each group was given a year to research the issue. So they hired a group of biologists, a group of statisticians, and a group of physicists.
■ A group of wealthy investors wanted to be able to predict the outcome of a horse race. Joanna Haigh, professor of atmospheric physics, Imperial College, London Positron: "You're round." Electron: "Are you sure?" Positron: "I'm positive." I think I heard this on Radio 4 after the publication of a record (small) measurement of the electron electric dipole moment – often explained as the roundness of the electron – by Jony Hudson et al in Nature 2011.
■ An electron and a positron go into a bar. Jeff Forshaw, professor of physics and astronomy, University of Manchester It was explained to me that it was first told by a Nobel prize-winning experimental physicist by way of indicating how out-of-touch with the real world theoretical physicists can sometimes be. I heard this joke at a physics conference in Les Arcs (I was at the top of a mountain skiing at the time, so it was quite apt).
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